It's always been about when I do theater, the audience is just a viewer, not taking part in what's onstage. Whereas if you're doing stand-up, it's inclusive.

For the most part, people don't know who I am.

I’m sort of known in the comedy community as “Smooth Sailing,” just ’cause everything always goes great. I’ve always had success at every turn.

What one person might see as violent, someone else may see as beautiful. Maybe even art.

Changing the world, one exclamation point at a time.

I suppose we all have a lil' inner or outer a-hole inside of us, just waiting for the right opportunity to rear their own beautiful buttholes.

I didn't necessarily set out to think of a show to make fun of reality shows.

For me, it feels like my ideas are more specific to random thoughts or single ideas I might have, as opposed to being influenced by a general perception of absurdity.

There were plenty of times some writers would make some kind of stupid joke to each other and then it was on TV that night or that week.

Ground the main character in stupidity. Hire a good cast and a good crew.

If you're doing stand-up, there is no fourth wall; you're engaging an audience.

Don’t stay because you think you can change him.You can’t change him.Maybe work on changing yourself so you don’t feel compelled to stay with menlike him in the first place.

When we raise our children to Shine, the future becomes brighter!

I hope that as the Senate and American people learn more about me, they will see that I am an ordinary person who has been blessed with extraordinary opportunities and experiences.

The fool strikes. The wise man smiles, and watches, and learns. Then strikes.

I would feel like my life was a success if my children grow into well-adjusted, happy, functioning members of society. Capable and happy and normal.

Simon Cowell seems like a very nice guy, but I think hes a secondhand Mickie Most to be honest.

Mary Kom is a woman who stood up alone in a male-dominated field and fought for her rights and what she believed in. Her story is an inspiration for every young person out there.

America is a construction of mind, not of race or inherited class or ancestral territory.

In Buddhist teaching, ignorance is considered the fundamental cause of violence - ignorance... about the separation of self and other... about the consequences of our actions.

I still dwelled deep in my elected paradise--a paradise whose skies were the color of hell-flames--but still a paradise.