It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.

Carlin often said that history was everything, for it was in man’s nature to make the same mistakes over and over.

Fixed mindset worries in the nest and the growth mindset dances on the edge.

Employers have decided that having the breadth of knowledge that's associated with a four-year degree is often something they want to see in the people they give that job to.

If you have a dream, only share it with those that are going to support you. Walk toward it on a daily basis and don't let anyone's doubting or negativity throw you off your path.

I only produce movies that have something stylistically different, so that I can learn from the experience of producing.

Will not the Lord hear my prayers and listen to my cries as soon as he ever did to theirs [the ancient saints'] if I come to him in the manner they did?

Like a magpie, I am a scavenger of shiny things: fairy tales, dead languages, weird folk beliefs, fascinating religions, and more.

It doesn't matter where you make movies or what the size of the movie you make is. It's a very hard job - especially director.

If I get angry, it's obvious. I don't have to say much.