It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Literature gives great light and great life.

We do not know how life began.

Your ability to consummate Leadership or follower-ship brings fulfillment at each appointed time in life

Our chief defect is that we are more given to talking about things than to doing them.

I find that people find a way out of misery through humor and it's humor that's often unacceptable to people who are not in quite such a state of misery.

I've been in eleven no-hitters you know.

What kind of love would drive a man for miles through solid rock?

Mother's room, and mother's need for privacy become a valuable lesson in respect for other people's rights.

What I Suddenly Understand My job is to make people uncomfortable. + I will do it all my life. ---> My mother, Sasha Blake, is my first victim.

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.