It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won’t stop at sarcasm. He might use’ - Colon swallowed - ‘irony.

Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

The air smelled of a limited life expectancy.

Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

Aargh! I’m too short for this shit!

Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!""Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.

Play is the highest form of research.

They thrived on the rapid turnover of acquaintances, the lack of involvement with others, and the total self-sufficiency of lives which, needing nothing, were never dissapointed.

Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary.

I take pride in the fact that you are able to make some good contributions to the sport at certain times.

I have lots of other mountains that I would like to climb. I have no dream of Everest, but there are some, like Mount Fuji, I'd like to do.

Amsterdam is not Holland. It is a city that attracts people from all over Holland. And lots of international tourists and party people.

It would hardly be possible to exaggerate man's wretchedness if it were not so easy to overestimate his sensibility

For me, there's a big difference between having a baby in your 20s and having a baby in your 40s.

Poor people are as much in danger from an inordinate desire towards the wealth of the world as rich from an inordinate delight in it.

Don't be sad. Even if the world won't forgive you, I'll forgive you. Don't be sad. Even if you don't forgive the world, I'll forgive you. So please tell me. How do I make you forgive me?