It's been phenomenal, but everybody keeps congratulating me on my resurgence and my big comeback. I haven't been away, guys. I've been working steadily for the last 63 years.

People forget the good that zoos do. If it weren't for zoos, we would have so many species that would be extinct today.

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

I'm a teenager trapped in an old body.

I may be a senior, but so what? I'm still hot.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep. 9 if you're ugly.

We didn’t have Facebook in my day, we had a phone book but you wouldn’t waste an afternoon on it

I don't know how people get so anti-something. Just mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don't worry about other people so much.

Where questions of religion are concerned, people are guilty of every possible sort of dishonesty and intellectual misdemeanor.

Real spirituality is about getting the bullshit out of your life and getting real.

Optimism: things will go my way. Positivism: everything is perfect right here and now, whether I like it or not.

What was I before the war? It’s hard to remember that far back. But I think maybe I was human.

[O]ne of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone.

Every man has a property in his own person. This nobody has a right to, but himself.

Love was a rare thing, easily confused with a million other things, and if anybody knew this to be true it was him.

Shopping, true feminine felicity!

Working moms, and increasingly working dads, don't want a government handout, but they do need a hand up.

Upon death the believer goes immediately into the presence of Christ in heaven, a realm far better than this earth. Heaven is our true home.