It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Speak your truth, create your path, love your journey.

I was to discover that the quest for human understanding is a lifetime one that has no end in sight.

Man has always seen himself the peak of creation. The part of the universe that thinks. The purpose for it all. It's no doubt a gratifying view, but the universe may have a different opinion.

I can’t tell you the things I know, ” I repeated. “Why not?” “They aren’t my secrets to tell.

Often I'll find clues to where the story might go by figuring out where the characters would rather not go.

It's not necessary to tell all you know. It's not ladylike--in the second place, folks don't like to have somebody around knowin' more than they do.

No amount of humanitarian assistance can protect people from being attacked.

I deal with haters on a daily basis.

Willpower is breath and heartbeat of life; Life blooms in the girdle of taut willpower.

I was told having a website would help me. I have yet to figure out why my life story needs to be on the web.