It's better to play to the host as though in a real conversation and let the audience listen in- which they are.

This whole urban rap thing needs to be pulled back some. The ghetto is being glorified, and there's nothing good about the ghetto except getting out of one.

Black people drink lots of beer. However, you won't see us skiing down a mountain for one, or see us diving for Frisbees on concrete for one.

Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.

Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.

If I'm crisp and economical in my delivery, have smooth transitions, movement and animation, and flights of fancy, that would get me an A.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.

I advise treating the studio audience like a nightclub audience because that's the reason you're doing television - to get them to come see you in a nightclub.

Most people under the influence of the wrong and common belief which says that the sense of man’s life is to grow a tree, build a house and bring up a son

What if?..What if I am all to see?What if life is only this? And Ignorance is bliss?What if love is only pain? And nothing can be gained by living everydayAnd there is no better way?What then?

The simplest way to enjoy lasting success in life is to strike a balance between your career and family. If one must suffer, never it be your family.

I don't quite hear what you say, but I beg to differ entirely with you.

I have about 50 guitars around the house. I can't take more than a few steps without finding one to pick up.

We can't have iPads until after 7 p.m. Otherwise the entire day is, "iPad time? What about now?" It makes me crazy. And no TV on weekend mornings.

In reality, there are very few villains who view themselves as villains. They just have a certain agenda at a certain time.

Looking back on a happy life, one realizes that one was not happy all the time.

If you do not like Real Estate, all you have to do is make hamburgers, build a business around that hamburger, and franchise it.

I've done some good work and some not-good work.