It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

You, on the other hand, wish to know things. And no one can forgive a girl for that.

Gratitude is the spirit of graceful sacred-existence.

Grandma Hutto’s flower garden was a bright patchwork quilt thrown down inside the pickets.

Study and work and work and study will keep in active exercise both the physical and mental. These two, rightly conducted, will not war against each other.

I've never studied psychology.

It is worth it to leave behing my minor life for grander maybes.

There's nothing better than actually getting to watch the person and see his or her mannerisms.

It is courageous to occasionally admit that there are certain things one can't do.

But we are not going to be able to survive on this limited planet if the population keeps on growing: there isn't going to be anything left.

As a player, it says everything about you if you made the Hall of Fame. But, then again, boy... there's something about winning a Super Bowl.