It's called the FATLOSE trail. FATLOSE stands for 'Fecal Administration To LOSE weight, ' an example of PLEASE— Pretty Lame Excuse for an Acronym, Scientists and Experimenters.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

I challenge you to find a more innocuous sentence containing the words sperm, suction, swallow, and any homophone of seaman. And then call me up on the homophone and read it to me.

It tastes like water spiked with strange.

The human digestive tract is like the Amtrak line from Seattle to Los Angeles: transit time is about thirty hours, and the scenery on the last leg is pretty monotonous.

Constipation ran Presley's life. Even his famous motto TCB— 'Taking Care of Business'— sounds like a reference to bathroom matters.

People are messy, unpredictable things.

Meaning 'by way of the anus'. 'Per Annum', with two n's, means 'yearly'. The correct answer to the question, 'What is the birthrate per anum?' is zero (one hopes).

When you feel lost turn towards love. Become a seeker of beauty in all things.

Her voice.That's what drew me to her. It was gorgeous, perfect, angelic.Ironic, that a demon should be drawn to the voice of an angel.

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you.

My mum Margaret was a single parent, but though life was a bit of a struggle she gave me every encouragement.

The peace that comes with surrendered action turns to a sense of aliveness when you actually enjoy what you are doing.

Historically, it's very unusual after a change of government for the new government not to be returned.

A cat and a Bible, and nobody needs to be lonely.

Citizens of the democratic societies should undertake a course of intellectual self defense to protect themselves from manipulation and control, and to lay the basis for meaningful democracy.

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same.