It's easier to learn many other things, if you first learn how to learn.

Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.

Please don't lie to me,unless,you're sure I'll never find out the truth.

The greatest obstacle to discovering the truth is being convinced that you already know it.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy.

I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn't all a dream?

I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself. I will be rich by myself and not by borrowing.

The Jews always complained, kvetching about false gods, and erected the biggest false God, Jehovah, in middle of western civilization.

They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should have seen their underwear. Disgusting.

We often pride ourselves on even the most criminal passions, but envy is a timid and shamefaced passion we never dare to acknowledge.

Ive been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.

Know this, if someone has cheated on you who truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt you.

I supported to reduce oil consumption in California by 50 percent, 50 percent in the next 15 years. They didn't even bother to show up.

When polo is used as a platform to give back, then it becomes much more beautiful, I think.

Acting after being asked is compliance. Acting without being asked is kindness.

Talent is less important in filmmaking than patience.