It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

The fact is, when it comes to economic leadership, the Republicans have nothing to brag about. This isn't what the American people want. They want to see progress that works for them.

In Jewish tradition, death-defying devotion to scholarship was the stuff of saintliness.

Just as the first sign of life in an infant when born into the world is the act of breathing, so the first act of men and women when they are born again is praying.

Uta Hagen would say, there's the representational actor and the presentational actor.

The Holy Scriptures are that divine instrument by which we are taught what to believe, concerning God, ourselves, and all things, and how to please God unto eternal life.

A person who, because he has corns himself, always treads on other people's toes.

There is something servile in the habit of seeking after a law which we must obey.

Yes, and for the record, he thinks you’re insane, too. (Otto) Oh, goodie. But I guess that’s only fair since I think he’s psychotic. (Susan)

The inventor tries to meet the demand of a crazy civilization.