It's easy for me to say that now, now I'm a father, I've got a four-and-a-half year old boy, I'm a different person. Well, I'm still the same person, but I'm different.

We played in Texas about a year ago, at Emo's, the famous country and western club in Austin. And I figured, well, if I'm finally gonna die onstage, that's where it's going to be!

I always said I was never gonna be an entertainer, Suicide was never supposed to be entertainment.

That's what my music... I'm working on a solo record right now, it's gonna be more hip-hop than anything, like electronic hip-hop, futuristic hip-hop. I'm probably gonna be rapping on it.

I like performers who I know are for real. You can tell, man, there's an intensity about their stuff. You can tell right away they're real people, ya know?

But of course it's always gonna be Suicide, our fingerprints, ya know? You can't ever get rid of that.

Experience really does make you better, man.

We're just getting better at our trade, man. We know what we're doing, and the reason why is that we've spent 30 years doing it. There's nothing that can replace that.

I did a couple songs with this hip-hop guy named Tim Dark. He was working in the same studio I've been working in, he heard my music and he said, aw man, I've got to do something with you.

That's why so much of the music today sounds so much alike, because there's no in-between. So it's kind of nice to still turn some buttons every now and then.

People said that way back in the early days I was probably one of the first rappers; the reason is that I couldn't sing, so I had to talk! Lou Reed was probably the one who started it all.

A people without children would face a hopeless future

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.

The end we know not; but we wander on, Down the regretful wilderness of time.

You're right. Everyone in this room with a pulse is starting to smell really good. Okay. Back in the box, better safe than sorry.

There are three sides to every story. Mine, yours and the truth.

When I was a very small child I went to a new play group. The first thing I did was run over to a little tot with incredibly chubby cheeks and sink my teeth right into them.

My 3am wake up call sounds a lot different now. Sweeter...

It is wrong for a man to say that he is certain of the objective truth of any proposition unless he can produce evidence which logically justifies that certainty.

I do my best work under pressure, so I’ll nick an artery, and my husband isn’t allowed to stanch the bleeding till I’ve banged out a chapter.