It's funny - nowadays people that are famous get chased by paparazzi. They have this fame, but they don't have the money to hide from it.

I believe that laughter is the best emotional Band-Aid in the world. It's like nature's Neosporin.

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

As an actor, the biggest compliment you can get, in my book is for someone to believe that you're the character.

My favorite character on Friends was Joey, because we're both actors. I always thought that was so cool.

I find the earth to be a place of misery in which I am surrounded by the conformity that kills society.

The phone's not ringing off the hook, but that's ok by me. I feel very fortunate, work to me has become a kind of hobby.

You can't be funny if you don't have good material.

A true gentleman doesn’t prefer blondes. A true gentleman doesn’t have any preferences whatsoever.

Work to me has become kind of a hobby. I was a part of something that gave me financial independence and the rent is paid. Now it's just about projects that turn me on.

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.

Some people are naturally good, you know, and others are not. I'm one of the others.

Maybe it's not the first kisses that are meant to be special. Maybe it's the last ones.

It still feels weird to spend money on Christmas trees. Back when Mom was alive, we’d go out “tree hunting.” That’s what she called it, anyway. I think other people might use the word “trespassing.

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.

Even in normal life, I'm not the skinniest model.

The youth do not see the old. They are not programmed to see the old, who are cancelled, negated, wiped out.

I find vocabulary to be a great drawback.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

Global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends.

Once you place that crown of liar on your head, you can take it off again, but it leaves a stain for all time.