It's got too much hard work slapping them and telling them to shut up.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

But my heart is an old house(the kind my mothergrew up in)hell to heat and cooland faulty in the wiringand though it’s nice to look atI have no businessinviting lovers in.

Every notion that any man, dead, living, or unborn, might form as to the universe will necessarily prove wrong

Insanity is a gradual process - don't rush it.

Before turning to those moral and mental aspects of the matter which present the greatest difficulties, let the inquirer begin by mastering more elementary problems.

I was thinkin if I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith. I can marry my dreams.

I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.

They that hold the greatest farmes, pay the least rent (applyed to rich men that are unthankful to God).

To deny this is to deny our own heritage, our own spirit, and our own souls.

Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses its meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision.

My older sister is a working mom. She's busy. She chooses to spend money on her children. But she should be able to afford a good shoe for herself.