It's hard for me to get embarrassed, but the things that do embarrass me would be if anybody ever heard my wife and I talking in our robust, made-up language.

Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire.

Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.

It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.

If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.

I can't 'make' you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favourite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.

I think your ambition for something changes as you go.

On stage, I'm me. I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a guy, I'm a mess - but I am a cohesive thing that you recognize as one human entity saying these things that he generally believes.

It's a good idea to have a break, to let your mind rest and so you can start to cultivate ideas.

It makes me sad that corporations and media and Hollywood conspire to make people feel terrible about their bodies from the second they wake up ,so I sort of try to subversively undercut that.

I no longer believe in freedom of speech.

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

my mothersensed awar in herwomb, and so sheraised meto fight.

One of the keys to achieving understanding is humility.

Remember, we who fell like stars from Heaven still shine bright in our own court.

One way to make sure crime doesn't pay would be to let the government run it.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they have so many more things to talk about.

I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.

A dream is the key that unlocks the mysteries of the waking world.

When somebody speaks a language that we don't know, we often imagine that some important things are being said!

It is not what you do, but what you stop doing that matters.