It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

It is better to be with animalandia friends, rather than those perfectly imperfect persons.

We also have the right to food in India.

Good-humor only teaches charms to last, Still makes new conquests and maintains the past.

If the creator has a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely would have meant for us to stick it out.

Half my fan mail comes from Japan.

Don't be afraid to be ambitious about your goals. Hard work never stops. Neither should your dreams.

Classical music in Venezuela is now something like a pop concert. You can see people screaming or crying because they don't have a ticket.

You raze the old to raise the new.

There is some sign that North Korea is changing recently. There is ongoing successful negotiation to have a military talk to Pyongyang, which has been stopped for seven years.

We want work and we want honest jobs. Our minds and our hands will be our keep!