It's hard to have any moral authority over a group of drunken college students when you have never had a beer and never been laid.

Everyone knows that senior citizens are stupid

I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot.

I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important.

I had a real passion for performing. I craved the attention. I was a goofy kid just like I am a goofy adult. So as soon as I got the bug of getting laughs and getting on stage I just couldn't stop.

We all borrow and steal and copy from each other, and that's the way I think people get inspired.

I'm no more a lawbreaker than they are , and if they were lawbreakers for keeping God's commandments, they're my example.

Whenever I do something I tend to focus on it and spend all of my time and energy on it.

I think I always enjoyed the energy of a crowd, of being onstage. It started when I was even younger doing public speaking at school and just kept going from there.

It's such a huge endeavor putting a full movie together, especially an independent movie. I tend to kind of do them when they come my way more than something than I go out and actively pursue.

A town without a book shop was a town without a heart

Only a person who perceives that all human beings are important can become a great leader.

Genome design is going to be a key part of the future. That's why we need fast, cheap, accurate DNA synthesis, so you can make a lot of iterations of something and test them.

Sometimes I think that Darwin made a mistake and that in fact man is descended from the pig, because eight out of every ten members of the human race are swine, and as crooked as a hog's tail.

Im not interested in the limelight.

I take care of my voice; I'm working out the way I would do my body, so that stays in shape.

In all failures, the beginning is certainly the half of the whole.

A thick hide is a gift from God.

Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.

Myrnin: ‘Have we been introduced?’ Frank: ‘Probably not. Why, you asking me out, sweetheart?’ Myrnin: ‘You’re not my type, darling.