It’s hard to make up your bed while you’re still sleeping in it. Hard to make up your mind for the same reason.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.

What was the point of finding something worth living for if my life was no longer in my own hands?

Of course, there's an alternative to terrorism: it's called justice.

You can buy life only with life.

I believe that the people who survive a cataclysm, rather than those who stand by and analyze it, are nearly always the more credible witnesses to their own history.

We do have to look at the mosques very carefully. The mosques, a lot of things are happening in there, folks, a lot of things.

When we really live truth, we will cease to talk about it.

I don't believe in putting on airs. I call it like I see it.

Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.

Success is on the other side of your comfort zone.