It's hard to play with a bagpipe player. It's like an exotic bird. I love the sound, it's like strangling a goose.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

One is never wounded by the love one gives, only by the love one expects.

I am a machine condemned to devour books.

You will fall short of achieving your goals if your focus is fragmented and your attention, energy, and concentration diversified.

Save the children, save mankind.

Let's be real: if women were "naturally" anything, societies wouldn't spend so much time trying to police every aspect of their lives

Because I can only love you entirely. With everything I am, and everything I ever will be. Body, mind, heart, soul.” - Victor Bramwell, Earl of Rycliff.

Sometimes you don't feel the hits from the game until you're at home on the couch.

Yet the basic fact remains: we live in a world marked by violence, and if we want to protect others, we sometimes have to be willing to fight.

The Lord bears all the weaknesses of men, but He does not bear a man who is always murmuring, and does not leave Him without chastisement.

Who taught you to hate yourself?