It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more.

The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear.

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.

I carefully choose people in my life and if you are not happy with it, then its your call to be angry, broken, disappointed and lose sleep over my choice, judgement & decision... no apologies.

Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.

. . .you sounded frustrated and pissed off and amazingly happy

I wanted myself. I wouldn't let what was mine be destroyed.

I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.

I had an amazing childhood.

It is, by common consent, a good thing for people to get back to nature.

All types of riches should be amassed by all means.

If something great comes off with the potential TV series, I will go straight to an investor this time and put my money in whatever they invest in.

We cannot live, we cannot look at the truth about ourselves without letting ourselves be looked at and generated by Christ in daily Eucharistic Adoration.