It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

I’ve been asking you to marry me since we met! What more do you want?

Success is inevitable to anyone whose subconscious mind is programmed to perceive life as a journey of endless opportunities and possibilities.

You must be holy in the way God asks you to be holy. God does not ask you to be a Trappist monk or a hermit. He wills that you sanctify your everyday life.

It's such a diversion to be constantly thinking of better ways I can teach people math that my hunger is for that really, for new ways of translating the beauty of it.

Woe to him who seeks to please rather than appall.

Been brainwashed since age 2 I only had imaginary friends And still do And they hate you

If somebody praises us and if we have any humility we will feel totally like a fool.

Your task? To work with all the passion of your being to acquire an inner light.

After 13 years of hard landings in gymnastics, one ski run had delivered the biggest injury of my career.

My favorite show from the '60s was 'Combat.' And maybe 'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.'