It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

Head knowledge is worthless, unless accompanied by submission of the will and right action.

All have dreams, live for them, They add meaning to LIFE.The only thing that differentiates us from other beings is the fact that us can DREAM!!!

I think the motive force of all our action is, after all, personal happiness.

A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote.

I'm not just a candidate, I'm the President

Every book I think will be my last one because after finishing I have the sense that I've said all I have to say, but I always seem to find a new way of repeating myself.

Surround yourself with "yay-sayers" not "naysayers."

The most genius ideas are in the minds of children and lunatics. I describe myself as somewhere in between.

There is too much illustrating of the news these days. I look at many editorial cartoons and I don't know what the cartoonists are saying or how they feel about a certain issue.

Motherhood is heart-exploding, blissful hysteria.