It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

Obamacare has made the government part of our health care decisions. The IRS controls all of our financial information. The NSA apparently sees everything else.

At the end of the day we want to bring stability and hope to Iraq. That's the only way to defeat terrorism.

Be sober and temperate, and you will be healthy.

It [the film industry] is not a glamorous industry. It's really, really hard, and you get told all the time, "You're not this, you're not that," and so you have to find a center.

Since science and religion provide two different perspectives on the human situation, they must ultimately be able to be reconciled.

I always considered myself a minor writer. My province is small, and I try to explore it very, very thoroughly.

No one places her dreams in the hands of those who might destroy them.

Being satisfied with what we already have is a magical golden key to being alive in a full, unrestricted, and inspired way.

There is nothing unhealthy about educating youngsters about nutrition.

Petty things don't bother me as much as they used to.