It’s, like, a safety bomb.” -Iggy

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

There is nothing new under the sun.

There's no right way of writing. There's only your way.

I understood that the man I was calling for could never ever come back. Because I understood that the man that I was calling for was dead.

Buy straw hats in the wintertime. Summer will surely come.

I just went to Harvard a little while, because I graduated from Armstrong High School in Washington and then I went up there but I didn't stay that long because I went into show business.

I can't even tell you how many different shows I would love to guest star on because there's just too many.

Literature is the expression of society.

All men begin as good men. What they are taught as children, what is expected of them as young men, is either the armor about that goodness or the flaw that allows evil in.

if you have once thoroughly bored somebody it is next to impossible to unbore him.

I think [the death penalty is] very expensive, and the delays are inordinate, delaying closure for the victims' families.