It's more fun to watch without joining in.

My mother enjoyed old age, and because of her I've begun to enjoy parts of it too. So far I've had it good and am crumbling nicely.

In speaking of Jesus, I must speak about Christianity because I do not think it possible or profitable to divide the two.

On the way to work good-hearted young girls sometimes offer me their seats, which I accept and bless them in return, a transaction satisfying to all concerned.

If a dish doesn't turn out right, change the name and don't bat an eyelid. A fallen souffle is only a risen omelette. It depends on the self-confidence with which you present it.

I once asked God what I could give him. "Your problems," he said. "I've got everything else.

The secular world is more spiritual than it thinks, just as the ecclesiastical world is more materialist than it cares to acknowledge.

I thought of such Christian inventions as the ghetto and the Jewish badge of shame. The Nazis didn't have to go very far to pick up their know-how.

When you do a good turn you feel rich, even if you are broke.

Jews are just like everyone else, only more so.

I found that when I did something for the sake of heaven, heaven happened. These things changed my life. I owe them to my encounter with Christianity.

I'm a very methodical writer. Before computers, I used reams of paper and stacks of index cards.

Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.

What we pluralists have to do is to say to the people standing on the faith line, particularly the young ones, no, pluralism is the wish of the creator. It is the greatest opportunity for humanity.

Clouds, torsos, shells, peppers, trees, rocks, smoke stacks, are but interdependent, interrelated parts of a whole, which is life.

I don't really care if people get upset. I think I'm doing my job if people get upset; I want them to think! We all want them to think, hopefully.

As comedians, we have the opportunity to convey a message that will have an effect. The best can make you laugh and cry, the way musicians and actors can.

Don't hyperventilate about something that happened at 9:00 in the morning when the grace of God is trying to reward you at 6:00 in the evening.

I'm okay with having horrible lower teeth.

Soy sauce is really a multi-purpose seasoning.

To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him...two.