It's much better to have your arguments dismissed because you might be joking than to have your arguments dismissed because you're not telling the truth.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

People reject what they do not understand because it makes them feel small. They would rather believe in some other reality, even if it is only an illusion, so long as it makes them feel bigger.

Books give not wisdom where none was before. But where some is there reading makes it more.

Women were the ones that held the reins, it emerged.

I remember awakening one morning and finding everything smeared with the color of forgotten love.

I hate the way market forces try to separate us out in to the appropriate demographic - basically in order to sell us things. We need to find stories that we can enjoy together, not separately.

I fell in love with the possibilities of telling the story in the future, and married that quickly.

The appetites will rule if the mind is vacant.

Your work is first, learning is first, winning is everything because without it there is nothing.

Relegating women to second-class citizenship was abolished when Jesus died on the cross.

If you can come to the Olympic Games and leave with a medal then that is alright.