It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

Newspapers, magazines and other publications have the constitutional right to be offensive, even disgusting. As evidence of that, just watch this space regularly.

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.

For some people, being free means being free to keep their feet on someone else's chest.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

Reagan's approach will achieve one of the basic goals of the conservative: Things remain basically the same. The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor, or even a little poorer.

The practice of gratitude can soften a difficult situation

Always let your heart sing

You know, if we’re speaking on a cosmic level, you’re never in a better place than you are in the current moment.

I had a dream about you last night... in it, we wondered why dogs come in packs but you can't pack dogs.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life.

Keep it simple, make it general, and make it intelligible.

On one level the sixties revolt was an impressive illustration of Lenin's remark that the capitalist will sell you the rope to hang him with.

Chimpanzees can be quite political.

The eyes, like sentinels, hold the highest place in the body. [Lat., Oculi, tanquam, speculatores, altissimum locum obtinent.]

Could anyone fail to be depressed by a book he or she has published? Don't we always outgrow them the moment the last page has been written?