It's much more fun to run a political campaign than it is to be the candidate.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

If the fate of the universe was decided in a single moment at the instant of the Big Bang, that was the most creative moment of all.

No one can take the shot for you.

The universe is infinite, so there is room for everyone, for every belief, for every custom, and for every desire. You are in competition with no one but yourself.

Daughter, " said the Hermit, "I have now lived a hundred and nine winters in this world and have never met any such thing as Luck.

I was a chemistry major, but I'm always winding up as a teacher in English departments, so I've brought scientific thinking to literature. There's been very little gratitude for this.

Dating is kind of hard. Like dinner or something like that. Like a forced awkward situation is very strange. Especially for me, for some reason.

Life is a vexatious trap; when a thinking man reaches maturity and attains to full consciousness he cannot help feeling that he is in a trap from which there is no escape.

What do you believe in?--In this, that the weights of all things must be determined anew.

Ask me a question about paparazzi, and I get so heated. And I feel so bad for young kids of celebrities. My nieces and nephews get yelled at, and I'm like, 'You are yelling at a 2-year-old.'

We forget that IMPOSSIBLE is one of God's favorite words