It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

You can never become great living the life of a time waster.

Leaders lead by example. No leader asks more than he is prepared to give himself.

Yet, beauty cannot be forgotten, Eternal Wisdom can never die ...

did time exist before we could count it

We're making far too big a deal out of our sexual preferences. It's just another form of narcissism, and I think it can be a big problem and a tremendous obstacle.

I thought it was very unfair. I thought what happened to Mitt Romney was very unfair in the third debate. So, I'd want to be. I'd want to have somebody that I think could be fair.

Our culture will become like it was during the medieval times when there truly was a cultural elite. The rest of the people will just watch television, which will be their only frame of reference.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

When a woman reaches twenty-six in America, she's on the slide. It's downhill all the way from then on. It doesn't give you a tremendous feeling of confidence and well-being.

The Super Bowl now takes on a magnitude that almost defies the imagination.