It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Social Security is neither social, nor secure.

I sit back up and try to banish such thoughts from my mind. They're stickier than I expect.

It is not unusual for subjects diagnosed with a Dissociative Disorder on the SCID-D to be surprised at having their symptoms validated by a clinician who understands the nature of their disorder.

It was an honor to coach him. He should be proud of what he did this year.

It may here be justly said, that genuine morality is preserved only in the school of adversity, and a state of continuous prosperity may easily prove a quicksand to virtue.

The idea that if you don’t like how things are going, you can just leave is so engrained in Texas, the secession movement is no surprise.

A picture is something that makes invisible its before and after.

I don't think I came to music. I think music came to me - or was already embedded when I came into this sphere, this realm, this Earth.

I hate doing photo shoots.

If you are in Christ, you've been chosen to transcend the borders of your own glory, to reach out toward a greater glory, the glory of God.