It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Light tomorrow with today.

I'm told I'm very charming when people do what I want.

Believers who come to know the Scripture in a living way, in both knowledge and Spirit, can in turn, use this Word to minister to people around them.

I have survived two wars, two wives and Hitler.

The notion of time bothers me. You look at thirty-year-old photographs and realize how the time has passed.

I really believe that happiness comes from things that cannot taken away from you.

Age is nothing; waking up is everything.

There's no question raising the minimum wage excessively causes a loss of jobs.

When we arrive at eternity's shore Where death is just a memory and tears are no more We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring Your bride will come together and we'll sing, 'You're beautiful'

I did learn what I didn't know I wanted to know.