It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.

If I play one psychic, then I'm playing a psychic at least three or four more times.

I love the tradition of changing gowns throughout the reception. I know it's a little extravagant, but why not - it's your moment.

Consistency: It's the jewel worth wearing; It's the anchor worth weighing; It's the thread worth weaving; It's a battle worth winning.

There's a reason why people who've had bad relationships with their parents listen to angry stuff.

I was into hip-hop when I was a teenager. Then I started to look for samples, and I started a long Hendrix period - I liked the drums and the beats.

Damn, I can't wait until it get dark, So I can light these fireworks up at the park, And celebrate my independence, It's the 4th of July, but I ain't got 10 cents.

If you want to accord with the Tao, just do your job, then let go.

The light had simply and utterly destroyed the darkness.

The art we need is the art of bearing the unbearable.