It's not healthy to live life as a succession of isolated little cool moments.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

The singing Sun the signing moon the singing stars and the singing galaxies are the direct expression of the divine word AUM.

anything that changes you forever, split my life into halves: Before and After.

She talks about how she can't exercise because of the ailments-a bad back, sore knees, breathing difficulties-all caused by her weight gain.

Our parents are obviously proud, but they're still trying to get used to the fact that we're in a band. I have a feeling my mom would actually like One Direction if I wasn't in it!

They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!

I'm in favour of politicians having extra-marital relationships. Oh yeah. It makes them more understanding of the flaws that the rest of us have.

Party organization matters. When the door of a smoke-filled room is closed, there's hardly ever a woman inside.

Libraries are places that house our dreams, our fantasies, our thirst for adventure.

Academics are not necessarily nice people.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.