It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If you didn’t fall down, you would never have learned how to pick yourself up.

Man is a rational animal. He can think up a reason for anything he wants to believe.

Nothing is lost, nothing is created all is transformed. Nothing is the prey of death. All is the prey of life.

If you know someone with a talent and a dream, support them just the way you would want to be supported

Remember, the American grand strategy works when other countries feel secure. But it doesn't work if we acquiesce in the aggression of other countries.

Saying, have a great work-out is like saying, I hope you pull something.

He realized something was going on between Logan and me. I wish he'd clue me in on exactly what it was, because I had no idea.

People are always surprised when I say that I'm an atheist.

Time is the water in which we live, and we breathe it like fish. ... Time pours into us and then pours out again. In between the two pourings we live our destiny.

I feel much freer now that I am certain the pope is the Antichrist.