It's not your enemies who are likeliest to hurt you. It is, always, those you trust.

I had no name for that particular hue of orange, other than unfortunate.

Your personal dignity was always more important to you than mere emotion, wasn't it?

This won't stop her from getting elected...Stupider people get elected all the time. It's America. We love the sleazy. And the crazy.

You know, " I said to Michael, "my girlfriend took him down with a broken tree branch." "Too bad she isn't here, " he said.

I'm your worst damn nightmare, Skeletor. I'm a vampire killer with fangs and a grudge.

If she were any friendlier, she'd be giving you a lapdance right now.

One of the useful things about age is realizing conventional wisdom is often simply inertia with a candy coating of conformity.

And where does she find them?

Marriage is not common in Sweden.

When something is 'new and improved', which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

History is a science, no more and no less.

As a human being, I'm work in process.

Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise'.

The graceful ivy, clasping the oak that supported it, would form a whole in which strength and beauty would be equally conspicuous.

When I started out, people were afraid of parish priests. Now they're afraid of newspaper editors.

If you ever want to be a decent player, you have to be able to use both feet without stopping to think about it.