It's obviously a characteristic of human beings that we like to feel superior to others, but our problem is we are not superior

For me, a play is a form of writing which isn't complete until it is interpreted by actors. But it's still a form of writing. And so most of my time is spent thinking about how to write a sentence.

Who says one instance of writing has anything in common with another instance?

Even with my wife, I find sharing soup is hard.

I have been vain since birth.

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine!

I spend most of my time thinking about things like laundry and buying stationery supplies.

I'm not proud to be me, I'm not excited to be me, but I find that I am me, and like most other individuals, I send out little signals; I tell everyone else how everything looks from where I am.

Patriotism is considered to be an emotion a person ought to feel. But why? Why is it nobler to love your own country than to love someone else's?

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

Acting is an escape from the boring person that I am in real life.

Ask a true scientist a very profound question on his science, and he will besilent. Ask a true religious person a very simple question on his religion, and he will be frenzied.

Forcing girls to be ashamed for doing the things that come natural to them — it's a ridiculous double standard, and we should all, frankly, tell anyone who judges us to screw off.

Real progress is progress in charity, all other advances being secondary thereto.

BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information.

We live in a time of unprecedented abundance.

Work for money, design for love.

I'll just ask now: What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power-hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?

Mistake, mistake, mistake. A strange word: stinging, somehow.

I would be ready to become a dad if I was with the right person. I'd like a boy, though. Because they're in charge.

I don't hate being an actor. But if there's a choice, I prefer to direct.