It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.

The natural state of the football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.

Record stores can't save your life. But they can give you a better one.

It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like.

I suddenly had a little epiphany: all the books we own, both read and unread, are the fullest expression of self we have at our disposal.

I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.

For alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.

It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.

Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.

Radio football is football reduced to its lowest common denominator.

Truth or dare...truth ain't fair. Marshal Robert Quantrell - Belle Starr: Dead Man's Hand (work in progress)

Boys fall in love with what they see. Girls fall in love with what they hear. But both with inner eyes. And their inner ears.

In fact, climate change is directly related to the growth of terrorism.

Take note that, before going any farther, I will give you the exact proportion of a man. Those of a woman I will disregard, for she does not have any set proportion.

I'd rather create a miniature painting than a Taj Mahal of a book.

The older I get, the more centered I become and the more I think I really know about myself. What I know is that what other people do doesn't really have any effect on me.

Nice " Shane said. "I'm warming up to this bloodsucking thing Mikey." "No you're not." "Okay no I'm not but right now let's pretend I am.

For he that feeds men serveth few; He serves all who dares be true.

With the end of the nominating process, American politics leaves logic behind.

Perhaps immortality is a gift of heaven rather than the result of some human effort.