It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Love of the soul is happiness to the spirit.

When you care more if someone else lives than you do about yourself, is that what love is?

Everyone can use a little beauty.

When I go to set, I try to make it a warm, inviting and happy set. We're all coming to work creating something, hopefully, beautiful together.

Government jobs are not an addition to the country's payroll; they are an increase in the nation's payload.

My iPhone stays on. All my friends and family know that I hate the phone, so no one calls me on it. I just use it to play Words With Friends and take pictures of cute shoes.

I have not lived so abundantly, full of family, full of continuity and history.

In every man there is something wherein I may learn of him, and in that I am his pupil.

Without an elite in the arts, we have no leaders, which is to say we have no vision, which is to say we have no arts.

Prayer is our way of entering into the happiness of God himself