It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Having made the decision to love, had I chosen life instead of death?

We have all encountered some failures in our life, but some people became failures because they perceived theirs to be permanent.

Man lives two lives, woe, were it otherwise! One is seized by death, the other one, his honor, remains.

I've always written about things that cause me to feel something.

The craftiest trickery are too short and ragged a cloak to cover a bad heart.

I'm a firm believer in that you play the way you practice.

We can't escape the shadow, so the best thing we can do is notice the light and be open to it.

The dominant party cannot reign forever, and truth and justice will prevail at last.

I think metaphysics is good if it improves everyday life; otherwise forget it.

Speaking as a writer, I'm not interested in trends, I want to write books that are honest, with characters as true to the inner world of the story as I can make them.