It's tough at the top. It's tough at the bottom. But in between you could use them for horse-shoes.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

You don't find interesting stuff because you don't search enough, ... every book has it's own lesson. But sometimes it's difficult to get it!

Just a few more years and then we'll join the circus.

Be willing to have it so acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.

I don't know if my songs fit in films.

I played Hamlet, I played Chekhov and Ibsen and all the classics.

I do not know. [summarising his life's work]

Any strikeout record worth having is in a Texas pitcher's pocket. I might come join them one day.

I've learned how to respect myself and how to say no. I've learned who I can really trust. I have 200 or 300 friends, but I probably trust four.

Our view of the law is that it - if somebody is here without sufficient documentation, that is not reason for deportation.

The true investor welcomes volatility ... a wildly fluctuating market means that irrationally low prices will periodically be attached to solid businesses.