It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

Be as wise as a fox. Be as harmless as a dove.

Much of this world's wisdom is still acquired by necromancy,--by consulting the oracular dead.

Chauncy Burr ... talks well, possibly better than he thinks. But this is a common failing.

A life worth living might be measured in many ways, but the one way that stands above all others is living a life of no regrets.

The most unhappy thing about conservation is that it is never permanent. Save a priceless woodland or an irreplaceable mountain today, and tomorrow it is threatened from another quarter.

Daniel Grigori!" Arriane hooted through her hands. "No!" Daniel hooted back without missing a beat.

We are the source of our problems not mysterious sinister foreigners overseas.

There are so many places we have not yet seen. So many people still to meet.

That's how hatred is created: two different groups, each insisting they're on the moral high ground

Friendship means understanding, not agreement. It means forgiveness, not forgetting. It means the memories last, even if contact is lost.