It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Life becomes easier and more beautiful when we can see the good in other people.

If you want your life to be successful, you must look inward. You must change how you think before your life can change. You change your thinking. You change your actions. You change your life.

Everybody gets so much common information all day long that they lose their common sense.

Half-truths are like half a brick - they can be thrown farther.

I just don't know how to date.

To be accurate, write; to remember, write; to know thine own mind, write. And a written prayer is a prayer of faith, special, sure, and to be answered.

For me, love carries the seeds of its own destruction.

Football is something like war. Whoever behaves too properly, is lost.

All the Freudian system is impregnated with the prejudice which it makes it its mission to fight -- the prejudice that everything sexual is vile.

I'm 100 percent original, and that's what got me here. My rap music is more understandable, slower. It tells a story. You can write a book on each of my thoughts.