It seems hardly fair to quarrel with a place because its staple commodity is not pretty, but I am sure I should have liked Cincinnati much better if the people had not dealt so very largely in hogs.

The Yankee: In acuteness and perseverance, he resembles the Scotch. In frugal neatness, he resembles the Dutch. But in truth, a Yankee is nothing else on earth but himself.

I very seldom, during my whole stay in the country, heard a sentence elegantly turned, and correctly pronounced from the lips of an American.

there is less alms-giving in America than in any other Christian country on the face of the globe. It is not in the temper of the people either to give or to receive.

The total and universal want of manners, both in males and females, is ... remarkable ... that polish which removes the coarser and rougher parts of our nature is unknown and undreamed of.

When newspapers are the principal vehicles of the wit and wisdom of a people, the higher graces of composition can hardly be looked for.

To an American writer, I should think it must be a flattering distinction to escape the admiration of the newspapers.

I have listened to much dull and heavy conversation in America, but rarely to any that I could strictly call silly (if I except the every where privileged class of very young ladies).

I draw from life - but I always pulp my acquaintance before serving them up. You would never recognize a pig in a sausage.

All the freedom enjoyed in America, beyond what is enjoyed in England, is enjoyed solely by the disorderly at the expense of the orderly.

It is rarely [Americans] dine in society, except in taverns and boarding-houses. Then they eat with the greatest possible rapidity, and in total silence.

Maybe the only good thing about death is that you never have to relive it. You never have to remember the pain.

There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog

You have riches and freedom here but I feel no sense of faith or direction. You have so many computers, why don't you use them in the search for love?

I decided few years ago to leave the bar to pursue a career in politics because I wanted to make a contribution in Parliament.

I apologize if anybody was offended by anything I said.

I like to do the pictures before people get too self-conscious. I like to be spontaneous and get a shot before the subject thinks too much about it.

The Japanese are hard to understand, but once you do the world is your oyster.

You can take a Jew out of a shtetl, but you cannot take a shtetl out of a Jew.

A thing may happen and be a total lie; another thing may not happen and be truer than the truth.

I'll go do films for three or four months and then I can't wait to go home to LA. And I complain about LA left and right, but then I always end up wanting to go home, you know?