It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Those who have a listening heart can hear the song of silence.

When you have left your life, you will be judged not for your possessions but for your contributions.

He looked different in sleep, beautiful but cold as moonlight.

Set the goal to get

So we might say that the most important thing one can acquire in college is a well-functioning bullshit meter.

In Turkey religion not only affects society but is affected by it, which is why Turkish Islam differs from Arab Islam. It's a more modern, more rational, more self-confident society.

our deeds have even less substance than we ourselves.

Anger is really disappointed hope.

It is necessary for us to understand that the only Active Principle is Spirit.

Know what you want to do, because if you don't know what you want to do, you'll get stuck.