It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

A boy's will is the wind's will, And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.

Conformity is often more dangerous than war. War destroys the body but confomity destoys the imaginative mind.

I remember myself as a child, pudgy and awkward and unsure of myself. For a moment I wonder how anyone could love such a child as that, let alone the woman she promised to become.

I truly believe the art's larger than the artist. Who cares about John Steinbeck? I care about the Joad family.

I think men are afraid to say that they would love to have Michelle Obama in their bed, but they think it.

Nevertheless, his moustachios are splendid.

I don't see decadence really as what you do, because I don't do much at all that is decadent in my life. But I still am decadent. It's a state of mind, I think.

Every song asks to be sung in a different way.

Companies that put a mandated parental leave in place save money in the first year, FIRST YEAR. Because they don't have to hire to replace the woman.

I'm no good at cooking or music, but I've always known how to garden. Nobody ever taught me; I just absorbed it. Some families are churchgoers or sports fans. We gardened.