It strains a man's philosophy the worst kind to laugh when he gets beat.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

The primary benefit of practicing any art, whether well or badly, is that it enables one's soul to grow.

Anybody can choose to relax but somebody must choose to pursue

People think, 'She's a model. She must have such an attitude. She must be so stuck up.' But I'm normal. I cry. I'm not rich. I drive a 1987 Chevrolet Celebrity.

Happiness comes from within

A sketch has charm because of its truth - not because it is unfinished.

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

We need to do as much as we can from every direction or we will surpass that two-degree climate increase. Actually, the science is showing we are already en route to surpassing two degrees.

Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now.

Life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous.

If I can feel freedom then I can create.