It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep.

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.

Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

I like to try to do a little work before I do anything in the morning, even if it's a paragraph.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

If you wish to meet and speak with god, you must first try to tame a wild tiger with a feather and a stick.

Cesto kazemo da smo emotivno nedostupni, ali nas pogled prevari i kaze da smo uvek dostupni.

... God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was His nature to do so.

Other people's success spurs me on to do well and gives me motivation.

I am your dwarf. I am the enemy within. I am the boss of your dreams. See. Your hand shakes. It is not palsy or booze. It is your Doppelganger trying to get out. Beware...Beware...

The cost of justice can be justly paid only by the invader.

Toastmasters changed my life. They really did. Put me on the stage. I don’t know what I would have done without that positive boost.

The narrative was too constricted; it was like a fetus strangling on its own umbilical cord.

Wow, girlfriend, you're incompatible with life! And here I thought I was just incompatible with pink.