It was a fatal day when the public discovered that the pen is mightier than the paving-stone and can be made as offensive as a brickbat.

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Every old man that dies is a library that burns.

When consent takes the form of seeking to possess the things we wish, this is called desire. When consent takes the form of enjoying the things we wish, this is called joy.

Loved for is based on one's perception, you can easily spend a lifetime trying to define its definition.

How to succeed: try hard enough. How to fail: Try too hard.

Don't speculate unless you can make it a full time job.

Everyone has the bully or the mean girl or the ex-boyfriend who tried to bring them down.

The stainless-steel frets were a major breakthrough, because of the amount of playing and bending that I do. I have to get my guitars refretted every couple of months.

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read made him mad.

I didn't realize that diets don't work, and I did not want to diet. I didn't want to do anything that required dieting.

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.