It was hopeless, life, really. It was set up all wrong.

The natural state of the football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.

Record stores can't save your life. But they can give you a better one.

It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like.

I suddenly had a little epiphany: all the books we own, both read and unread, are the fullest expression of self we have at our disposal.

I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.

For alarmingly large chunks of an average day, I am a moron.

It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home.

Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.

Radio football is football reduced to its lowest common denominator.

Freedom is sloppy. But since tyranny's the only guaranteed byproduct of those who insist on a perfect world, freedom will have to do.

He spoke in a trembling voice that didn’t seem to be entirely in sync with the movement of his lips. That’s because sound travels slower in halitosis.

Listening ears are soothing for a heart that needs peace.

Our aversion to lying is commonly a secret ambition to make what we say considerable, and have every word received with a religious respect.

I have to stay calm, cool, and collected.

I always thought of myself as a moderate liberal, a fighter for peace and justice. I never thought of myself as being all that far out.

The ambitious will always be first in the crowd; he presseth forward, he looketh not behind him. More anguish is it to his mind to see one before him, than joy to leave thousands at a distance

Knowledge is a terrible burden. It may help you, but it might also destroy you.

I want to explain everything to him, show him that it’s really not as screwed up as it all sounds, but then I remember that it is.

I lived in a tiny Midwest town, so I was always looking for adventure.