It was like seeing Bill Gates at age thirteen, times two. And half of him was wearing a cheerleader uniform. Yes, I know that’s a weird image.

I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

You look like a handsome young man…although you might want to zip your fly. Mom! What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?

Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

Chicks dig a dude who’s sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.

But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.

If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

There are really no guidelines whatsoever, because this is the kind of thing that only happens to ME.

And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

(Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers’ shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)

The key to failure is ignoring Cosmic Ordering.

Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.

Because of technology, we don't develop telepathy. We don't use telepathy, but use, you know, the mobile phones. Why?

Religion is the finger pointing to God. People are too busy licking the finger to notice where it's pointing.

No matter what you do for a living you should get paid for your work, whether you're washing dishes or recording songs.

The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad.

The funny thing about me is I move from genre to genre, but I essentially shoot all the movies the same way.

My wife and I, Delice and I, are empty nesters.

Truth in science can be defined as the working hypothesis best suited to open the way to the next better one.

Beautiful music is the art of the prophets that can calm the agitations of the soul; it is one of the most magnificent and delightful presents God has given us.